Wednesday, August 29th, 2012
There is no magic book (that I know of) for wedding planners that says, “the planning process for my own wedding will be free of hurdles”, or girdles for that matter.
The Hurdles: As a planner, I’ve talked many a stressed out bride off the ledge when dealing with the nuances of family and friends that do and will occur during the planning stage. Honestly, how could there not be at least a few arguments about finances, guest lists, family dynamics, and ex family members? It seems like weddings can lead to some seriously needed group family therapy sessions! Of course, we have been experiencing our own related speed bumps and I have to say they do tend to slow down the happiness drive down the aisle. As I methodically bob and weave my way through the family issue minefield I need to remind myself of all the info my Maids of Honor keep telling me, it’s the same pearls of wisdom I tell my brides:
- Whoever pitches in the most has the biggest say in how your day goes. This may be true (it is for us) to some extent, we all need the financial help and appreciate it. It also leads us into the depths of vulnerability. Remember these words “we appreciate your help but are still going to do our wedding our way”. After all, this is a celebration of marriage about the bride & groom. This is not a chance for family to step into the control room to sway certain aspects that benefit them especially when it comes to old issues. My advice to brides – put the stressful issues back on the family. Don’t become the newly appointed peacemaker because you have accepted help. Thank them and let them duke out the issues on their own.
- When Bridal Party dynamics collide, take cover. I could not choose just 1 or 2 of my besties to stand by my side….I have 5 Maids of Honor, all strong and confident women who love to say it like it is. I am super stoked they all agreed on the dress and colors. Whew! So far so good. Oh boy, I just love my support team and they are equally loved in my heart. When the stars align and they are in the same room (trying on dresses) it is best to relax, practice bridal breathing and just enjoy. While they are not standing up with us traditionally at the front of the aisle, their support and attention to me at this time are appreciated more than I can say. We will be surrounded with love during our ceremony by my Dad, Brother, Daughter & Sister are as well as my fiancé’s parents and his 2 gorgeous children. We are lucky to have all our loved ones in one place for the first time ever!
The Girdles: Let the hate train begin! Self-confidence and image is a prime concern for all brides to be as well as the bridal party. We suddenly notice pictures of ourselves more closely than we ever had and we start worrying that if “I don’t lose weight before the…” Well, you can fill in the blank from there. Why? Of course this has also been my concern lately, I got swept up too. Secret weapon – great photographer who does amazing editing! Truly, I would be happy just feeling better about myself, it’s amazing what a 5-10 pound loss can do for a girl. Thankfully, I know this can be accomplished with realistic weight goals, stretching, hair, make-up and a little help from my friend photoshop. If not, bring on the girdle! I am reminded of a FantaSea bride who was feeling less confident about her engagement weight, only to be told by her fiancé during a meeting that he wanted to marry her from the first day he met her, regardless of what she had been wearing at that moment (slouchy sweat pants and a one size fits most t-shirt) and that he would love her today, tomorrow and years down the road after they had done the mutual gain, the hair loss and the middle aged thing. Girdle or no girdle, I know that I am loved.
Keep Calm & Marry On. We can do this.